Monday, September 24

Diabetes? Fine. Infertility? Nope.

I am pretty open about many things in my life.  People who know me well know that when they ask me an honest question, they can expect a reciprocating answer.  In this fashion, I might be a bit too trusting.  There are things that I get asked about the most often, the front-runner being my diabetes.  Diabetes is something I harbor absolutely no bad feelings about.  I sometimes feel discouraged, frustrated, or downright ornery about the subject, namely on days that have seen rollercoasting highs and lows when it comes to my blood sugar, but for the most part if someone has questions, they can feel free to ask away.  I even answer the seemingly endless barrage of stupid/ignorant questions about my diabetes.

Then there's that other topic once people find out that we have been married for as long as we have and they learn that Hallie is adopted.  The elephant in the room when such questions arise or such information is learned: INFERTILITY...

I don't know why this topic is so taboo for me.  Accepting it? Easy.  Facing it with medical help/intervention?  Haven't quite gone there yet.  Discussing it with members of my family who struggle with it?  No problem.  Discussing the sometimes personal and searching questions from people I hardly know or don't quite know well enough?  YIKES.  

I can't quite explain that feeling of me putting up a nearly tangible but invisible barrier/wall around me when someone expresses curiosity as to why we only have one child. You would think that having married into a culture where blunt and searching questions abound, that I would be able to be more open about this...topic.  

Not only are there the questions surrounding how Hallie came into our family, then there are the questions about how do we plan on having/getting more kids, or questions as to when we plan on it etc.  I can't quite put a label to all the different types of questions that result from one BIG question, but I just don't always feel ready to talk about it, or I get sick of giving the same answers over and over and over again.  

I have friends that are pretty open about the fact that infertility is a challenge they and their significant others face in their lives. I support them in that.  Even when they are a bit TMI in my opinion.  

So there you go, I have put this out there.  Do any of my 3 readers (maybe I'm being presumptuous) or so struggle with anything like this?