Friday, May 30
For the past month or so it has been a little more than frustrating when trying to get answers from people involved with this whole process in trying to get paperwork and other things pushed through, approved and where they need to be. Since I have more time and a more flexible schedule that enables me to make the phone calls in the attempt to become more educated as to how everything goes and trying to get updates on the status of background checks and trying to set up a home study.
About a month ago or so, we finally got a phone call from a gal named Amanda who works for the Utah state office of licensing for foster parents. Funny thing is that for an entire week we played phone tag, but what didn't really impress me was that she was very ambiguous when she said that she could only be in charge of our case for 2 weeks before she was leaving for 6 weeks,and that we would be reassigned to a new case worker. I couldn't help but think it was silly that we would be assigned to her if she was leaving, and that we should have been assigned to someone else so as to maintain consistency, but has we have all but learned in the last few weeks, there is anything BUT consistency in working with the government's agencies. But I tried to stay optimistic and started asking Amanda questions as soon as any came to mind. It seemed that she didn't really care to help us. So I was passed along from person to person with my questions and not getting a lot of answers. I actually spent an entire 30 minutes on the phone with someone that was not only rude to me, but would talk over me when asking questions or explaining answers in return, only to get to the end of the conversation extremely frustrated and sick of this person treating me like an idiot, and no answers were given.
So after SEVERAL what seemed like unending weeks of nothing but road blocks and dead end conversations, I had just had it in dealing with stupid people. To me it's one thing to admit that you don't know the answer to my questions, and another different thing when you pretend to know the answer to my question that leads me to absolutely nowhere. But if you were in my shoes talking to some of these people, you would wholeheartedly agree with me that it certainly takes talent to be that stupid. I knew at the beginning of this whole process that it wouldn't be easy. I know that God doesn't just open a door of opportunity to just let you be able to walk right through with out taking each vital step. But there finally came a point that I honestly thought I couldn't take it any more. Let's just say that I nearly came to a "breaking" point. I just broke down crying. I had tried to be strong for so long that I just couldn't be that anymore. What made it worse was that I thought of all the people I know that seem to have been able to carry any type of burden without ever breaking, always so full of grace. Then I realized that I don't necessarily have to be one of those people. It was then that I finally found strength again by getting on my knees and praying to God to carry me through this. An overwhelming peace came over me that I needed to experience for myself instead of having people tell me that it would be okay.
A couple of days after this, I was feeling a lot better and I received a call from a new licensor. At first our conversation started out by saying that she had gotten all of our paperwork in! That meant the background checks that we were told were going to take a very long time to get back, and our entire file! I sat in shock at hearing this, and then my excitement was shot to heck within seconds... on the other end of the line I heard her say that she was mistaken. She had been fingering through our file and couldn't find our background papers. She apologized over and over for getting me all excited, so I started asking some questions. It was a good thing that I kept her on the phone because she said she found the papers she needed at the very back of our file, so we were able to schedule June 9th for our HOME STUDY!!! We are thrilled at this and are gradually making the efforts to finalize getting everything done in our home to have her come to do the Health & Safety Inspection and the actually home study itself. She explained that it should only take her about a week to write up our home study since she will be able to type in our answers while she is here on her laptop! We were told that it would take a month to get our home study to get done! So this was WONDERFUL and totally WELCOME news! I just kind of sat there and was trying to soak all of this in. I was so grateful for some good news. I was in dire straits for some good news, and for answers! Thus the State being able to reconcile their stupidity by finally being able to provide someone that knew the difference between their rear end and a hole in the ground!
Ever since this call and getting this good news, I have been extremely calm. It couldn't have come at a better time for me.
Tomorrow we are going up to Twin Falls again to see Taylor and our other nephew as well! We will post some pictures after we get back!
Sunday, May 18
So the funniest thing I could think of to blog about was that I got a text message from my sister on Wednesday asking what my plans were for Thursday. I didn't have much of anything to do after some appointments that I had that day, so I headed over to her house on my way back from Bountiful. She told me that she needed help fixing her hair, because she had gone to get her highlights touched up from a long overdue appointment. The gal that did her hair was a little overzealous with the blonde and ended up making my sister (or so she thinks) like a Play Boy Bunny Blonde. I told my sister that all I could think of was something called a toner, since the damage was already done by bleaching it. Basically toner is a concoction of chemicals that will help tone down your hair and make it come out a little less bright, without having to dye your hair all over again. My sister must've thought it was bad enough, so we went to Sally Beauty Supply and bought some toner and creme developer. We came home to her house and I put the toner in and sat and waited. Then while my sister and I had been styling her hair to make sure that everything turned out alright, I noticed that the hairstylist hadn't cut her hair evenly. That was the moment in time that I wish my hair experience was more that just that of home hair care! So my sister left me to take care of her kids while she ran back to get it fixed. Luckily the manager of the hair place recognized Katie from the day before and helped to smooth out the unevenness of her hair,and Katie came home. Then I was looking at her hair again, and the gal must have been blind because the bottom was NOT even at all. So my sister (exhibiting more than her share of faith in me) handed me a pair of scissors and told me to fix it. So I did. Like my sister said in her blog, it is sad that I as a sign language interpreter was able to fix her hair without any real experience in hair styling.
Other than that, there is really nothing new in the adoption/foster parenting arena. Just waiting and waiting!
Tuesday, May 6
I have been experiencing some frustration with this whole process in trying to adopt our nephew. We have been making sure that everything from our end is done. Now it is just time to do nothing, but wait. For those of you who know me, when it comes to something that I want, or am passionate about, I am not the most patient person.
In the beginning, we were told that we had all these things we had to do. Paper work, classes, background screenings, reference letters, home study, safety inspection, following up with case workers, clearance approvals for schlepping it up to Twin Falls to build a rapport with our nephew, etc...
We have signed our lives away, turned in packets of forms, been fingerprinted for back ground checks, taken the time to attend all the training classes, purchased child-proofing stuff for the house, purchased baby furniture, provided references, making a trip and planning yet another one soon to Twin Falls, etc. When we were told that we had all these things to do, I took each day at a time, almost always accomplishing something in this whole process, and learning very much every step of the way. But in the last few weeks, after having done all these things, if feels like NOTHING is happening. We have received and were notified that the request to have us checked out from Idaho came and unfortunately not yet went. Now is the time that we have to WAIT AND WAIT AND WAIT for people from the state to get with the program and help us complete this process. I have made phone call after phone call, and it seems that some of the people in this process have forgotten how to pick up a phone and call an inpatient (losing her mind in the process) woman back! ;)
I have been praying for patience, trying to see things from all perspectives, yet it all seems to boil down to one thing: my nephew is STILL in foster care, and every day, gets a little bit older, and is not building a relationship with my husband and I, who want nothing more than to be his parents, and to provide the loving, stable, and thriving home that he deserves! (done venting now)
So after all of this, and all my venting, it comes down to this yet again, all we can do now, is wait.
Friday, May 2
So with the last post, I posted those pictures of the City of Rocks. Now are the long awaited pictures for the REAL reason we went to Idaho in the first place! Introducing our nephew Taylor! He has big blue eyes, a Buddha Belly, and is almost completely bald! He is a real sturdy and strong little kid. He didn't cry the entire time we had him to ourselves for 2 hours. He is such a good baby! I just hope that if he comes into our home, that he won't change. The foster mom said that he has always been easy. Holding him was a moment that I had been anticipating for a while. I loved every minute of it. I am just going to continue to pray and hope that all will work out for the best. He absolutely loved Brandon, but then again who doesn't love Brandon?