Saturday, September 18

Baby Clothes

Anyone who knows me has to be aware of the fact that I love to shop, especially for clothes. For years my ever patient husband has put up with me and my shopping habit.

When I became a foster mommy, I had NO idea how much fun shopping for little kids clothes would be. With the boys we had last year, it was hard not to spend tons and tons of money on cute clothes for them. What was even better was the fact that if you looked hard enough, and knew where to shop, you could find some great deals on cute and well made clothing. I loved shopping for little boys clothes. I'm not all about the trends of making the little people who have come in to my home get dressed up like a rock star. I prefer timeless, classic, and preppy style clothing. Trends in kids clothing that have skulls, guitars, etc on them aren't quite my style, though you might say I love trendy things.

Whenever I went shopping for little boy clothing, I was amazed how small the boy department was in comparison to the girls department. Little did I know what I was in for when Brandon and I got our little Lady Bug! It was a new experience! Now I absolutely love shopping for this beautiful little girl. I shop just about anywhere I can find great deals on some of my favorite name brands, so just to name a few stores/brands: Carter's, Target, Kohls, JCPenny, Shopko, and a recent new discovery:Old Navy!

I'm having to rein myself in when it comes to temptation to buying clothes for this girl!

Friday, September 17

Jerry Springer-ish

I had to run to Walmart today for the first time in a while to pick up some children's ibuprofen because Lady Bug is cutting FOUR teeth right now. I started to think about when the last time it was that I went to that "store where you go in with a short list but walk out with more than you ever intended to buy in the first place" shopping center and remembered a situation that I came across while getting the baby and myself ready to go in to the store.

There was a couple fighting in the parking lot. The woman was yelling "I can't believe you cheated on me you (blankety-blank blanking blank)! I'm never going to (blankety blank) talk to you again! Get the (blank) away from me!" Then she started to hit him with her fists as he tried to calm her down and put his arms around her apologetically. She started sobbing and yelling at the same time.

At this point I started to cover the baby's ears and walk faster in to the store begrudging the fact that I had parked out further than necessary to burn a few extra calories in the first place.

To add to the imagination, just picture the fact that the couple were covered in tattoos, body piercings, and looked like bathing/personal hygiene efforts were not one of the top things on their daily-what-to-do lists.

All I could think of was that they didn't seem to care who or what saw them in this argument of theirs. I can't believe some of the things that people just let hang out there for the world to see. In our world of reality (let's show as much skin as we can and blur out the rest of unmentionable body parts) television and racy sitcoms, nothing is sacred anymore. And old memories of the Jerry Springer show came to mind. It was not a pleasant thing to see. There are times when in public that I'll get some twisted expression on my face and Brandon asks me what is wrong, and I just tell him he is SO lucky at times to not have to hear some of the things people say out in public. People can be so dang filthy, crude, and nasty. It's like having a front row seat to an airing of the Jerry Springer show. And that's just plain sad if you ask me!

Wednesday, September 15

The Last Few Days

I have been making more of an effort to spend some quality one on one time lately with Lady Bug. And what a world of a difference it has made! I'm loving it! We've gone to the park to swing, play on the playground, shopping (a fave pastime of mine)etc. We've shared some smiles and giggles, hugs and tickles. Here's to more of it!

Tuesday, September 14

It's That Time of Year

It's that time of year folks! I am getting excited! My two favorite shows are starting up again next week: Grey's and Private Practice! Let the juiciness and drama begin! Yahoo!

Saturday, September 11

Studying to Learn

I'm one of two gospel doctrine teachers in the Ogden Valley Deaf Branch. I take turns teaching every two weeks with a wonderful sister in the branch. I love to sit during her lessons and learn from someone else's perspective. I am as guilty as the next person when it comes to comparing my teaching abilities with hers, and at times it leaves me feeling inadequate not only in the difference in teaching techniques but making it so that the information found in the Old Testament is accessible in American Sign Language to those that I teach. But I digress.

Since I am a little slow on the uptake at times (more often than I'd care to admit, actually) I have realized that this wonderful sister in the branch often contributes in my lessons as if she's read the lesson before coming to church. I decided to take an early look-see and read tomorrow's lesson. I pulled up the the Church's website and clicked on the links for tomorrow's lesson and also pulled up the scriptural references associated with the topic. Let's just say that Hosea was WAY over my head. So I thought I would try something...I hope I don't get struck by lightning for this...I googled "Bible translation" and pulled up a website that supports a different translation than the King James Version of the Bible, and voila! I was able to read all the references in plain old English. It helped me understand what was actually being said in Hosea. I read all the references to the lesson first, then went back and compared the important points in the lesson and the light came on. I am not dogging the King James Version of the Bible, please don't get me wrong, but sometimes that flowery language makes my brain do somersaults. I am hoping that aside from the straying off the path of recommended scriptural usage, I will be able to fully understand what is being taught, and to learn more about the gospel.

I feel like it's okay to look for a little help when it comes to understanding the scriptures. It totally enlightened me and put me a little more at ease. Now maybe I can look to more than just a couple of resources to not appear to be such a gospel retard when standing in front of a classroom full of people trying to explain something that even I don't get!

Thursday, September 9

It's the Little Things

Anyone who knows me knows that I don't usually handle stress too well. I'm an emotional person. I jump to conclusions. I'm passionate about things. I cry and cry hard to let stress go. I hold things in until I could emotionally spontaneously combust. I usually imagine the worst case scenario in seemingly hopeless situations, dwell on it, and drive myself and everyone around me absolutely nuts only to later find out the end result was nothing near my worst thoughts as to what could happen. So why do I sit here and post about all this?

The last couple of years have been some of the most difficult of my life. And yet I still sit here with a conglomerate-like pile of "what ifs" and "possibilities" on my life's plate. And though there are definitely those moments of trying to digest one idea over another as to what my life has in store for me, I am currently calm and show no signs of "indigestion".

Again, the 2 people who actually read this may be sitting and looking at their computer screen, wondering "what in the world is this nut-job talking about?"

I'm talking about letting go, and letting God. In the last two years, we have been living by the "what if" concept and at times it has been heart-breaking, disappointing, full of joy, confusion, introspection, and faith-trying.

We have loved and lost foster babies, considered the possibility of a cross-country move, staying put, being employed or not, looking for jobs both in state and out, sworn up and down we'd never foster again (only to be inspired to do it again), and been blessed with an incredibly gorgeous and fun red-headed ladybug. The list goes on and on but the recent epiphany that has come to mind is that over the last two years, through all the ups and downs, God has been with me the ENTIRE time. If I ever felt distanced from Him, or alone, or just downright miserable, it's because I was so absorbed in whatever it was at certain moments that I had absolutely no control over, I failed to recognize either His hand or presence.

Last year, when we sent the boys to live with their grandparents, it felt like someone had died. The loss I felt almost felt like an opened wound that would never heal itself. But then something happened.....time & life. Life came in and went on even when all I wanted to do was curl up and let it move on with out me.

God had something else planned for me though. He wasn't about to let me just wallow in self-pity and a broken heart. He got me motivated to go back to work full time and pursue a higher level of certification in interpreting. Then the possibility of fostering presented itself once again and I thought I was crazy when Brandon and I decided it was something we were willing to try again.

I sit here amidst what could turn out to be a lengthy process of whether we get this adorable little red head. We still don't know if Brandon will be laid off, or transferred. We are anxious to move out of the duplex we are living in for a myriad of reasons (those of you who are aware of our plight, know that's an entirely different post). Yet I have absolutely no control over any of these things. And very recently I let out some frustration over this very thing, but when I started focusing on the things that I do have control over, and the countless blessings that I have, I felt more at ease.

I have opened my heart and my mind to God. I almost always have a prayer in my heart. I am studying my scriptures. I am trying to be more patient. I am thinking more positively. All because I made myself sit back and think about the blessings in my life. And "letting go and letting God".