Reflections...

When Brandon and I decided to get involved with the foster care system, we knew it meant there would be the potential for both heartbreak and joy. So far, we have experienced both. We have been blessed with the privilege of seeing these boys thrive and move through milestones. I love hearing Hunter tell his baby brother he loves him. I get that great thrill when I hear the baby laugh. I love seeing their eyes light up when I walk into their room every morning. It is fun to have little shadows following me around the house during the day. I have seen the baby reach the point of pulling himself up on to everything that will let him do so. I love seeing Hunter sign with his little hands. I could go on about the joys that I have seen and experienced with these little guys.

For a time, I have had some selfishness seep into my mind. There have been time where I have thought about how much we would love to keep these little guys forever. But that isn't the reason we got in to foster care.

But I have finally started to again think about the reason that we got involved with foster care in the first place. We wanted to be able to give kids a safe haven from the terrible circumstances they were removed from. We wanted to give them the love and support that they would need when coming into our home even though they didn't know us and we didn't know them. We knew that we would be open to adopting if the opportunity would arise.

I have come to a place in my own mind and heart that things will work out the way the Lord wants them too. I am at peace with the fact that though every day we get a little more attached, there is a very real possibility that they may go back to their parents. People ask me all the time if we are going to adopt these boys or not. I basically tell them that it's still too early to tell. I also add that if they go back, then I am okay with that. I know that when children come into our home there really aren't any guarantees. People often just look at me and say that they couldn't do what Brandon and I are doing. They couldn't help raise little ones only to see them sent back to their families. I have learned that I am stronger than I give myself credit for, and that I know it will be hard but the Lord lead us to this, and He will bring us through it.

Whatever happens, I will accept it, and be at peace with it, because I know and understand the Lord's tender mercies.

Catching Up

It's been a little while since I last posted anything, but want to thank y'all for leaving the encouraging (mostly encouraging) comments to help me keep blogging.

Lots of things have gone unblogged about that I don't want to forget mentioning.

I can't believe that it's already been a month since my wonderful Mama came in to town for a short visit! It was great having her here. She spent the first couple of days with my sister, and then came to meet the boys and stay with us for a few days. There is one thing that I can honestly say about my mother. She is one of the greatest joys in my life. She has one of the kindest hearts of anyone that I know. She also has one of those personalities that is just contagious. One thing that I actually have in common with this incredible lady is that we both laugh VERY easily, and this is one of my very favorite things about her. She and I had many good laughs while she was here. Another thing that happened while she was here is that I learned a lot from her in how to take care of little ones, because I mean hey, I have only been doing this for about 4 months. She had a LOT more patience with the boys than me and she just knew how to take care of them as much as she knows how to breathe in air. I hope someday that I can be that way. I am grateful that she is my mother, and one of my very best friends.

Another fun thing that happened about 2 weeks ago was that I went down to Salt Lake one night to go to my good friend Amber's 27th birthday party! It was mostly supposed to be a girls' night out with the exception of a couple of guys that came, but it was SO much fun! It was just what I needed... a night to myself surrounded by some very good friends. I hadn't seen some of the people that were there for a very long time so it was an awesome opportunity to be able to catch up with them. Amber is one of the finest people that I know in my life. She has an incredible faith in God, and that just radiates from her any time that I am around her. I am grateful also to have her as a friend, and am glad to know that it doesn't matter how much life and time pass by, she is still a wonderful friend!

This past Saturday night we had a couple of our friends from college come up for dinner, Gary and Emmalee! Brandon and Emmalee both work for USDB as Deaf Mentors and had an all day conference they attended up at the main campus. After they were done there, Gary drove up from Salt Lake to meet us all at the Costa Vida in downtown Ogden. As always the food was delicious and we watched the indoor surfers and indoor skydivers. That never gets old. We had a great time talking it up with our friends and enjoyed their company. The boys were very well-behaved too which made our lives easier.

Lastly I got an email from my Diabetes support group leader, and she said that there wasn't really a topic being taught for tomorrow night, and asked if anyone would be willing to teach or talk about a certain topic. I emailed her back and said that I wouldn't mind helping out, so we will see how that goes! I need to do some research and stop blogging! So that's all that has been going on with us lately, but it sure has been fun and memorable!

Should I? Or shouldn't I?

I love to blog, and of course read everyone's blogs to catch up on what's going on... but I am thinking about stopping my own blog. I kind of feel like I am just talking to myself out here in the blogging world, because people have stopped leaving very many comments. I don't say that to get attention, but it's just how I am kind of feeling at the moment! Any suggestions? Maybe if there is a lack of comments that will be my answer!

Hunter Being Hunter

Recently, our 2 year old foster son Hunter started doing something really sweet all on his own. He came up to me about a week ago all on his own to give me a "leg hug" and told me he loved me. This really meant a lot to me. We have always told him and his brother that we loved them. Hunter has also started showing a much sweeter side when it comes to affection with his younger brother. He tries to comfort and hug his brother sometimes when the baby is crying. He hands his younger brother toys when he drops them and gets upset. Now that they share a room, if the baby is crying, Hunter stands up in his crib and tells the baby that it's "okay". It has been a lot of fun to see this happen.

Hunter really is just an all around sweet kid. He of course has his moments, as we all do, but I am just really thankful for the spirit he brings into our home.

Diabetes Expo

Last Saturday I volunteered at the Salt Lake City Diabetes Expo. I worked in the registration and had a great time. The Expo is held every year at the SouthTowne Expo Center and is a pretty bug event. Compared to last year, the turnout was huge! I remember that when it opened last year, it was busy, but there wasn't a line of people waiting to get in like this year! It was really cool. Some of us volunteers were talking about why this happened and some of the ideas expressed were that in the last year diabetes has become more and more of a prevalent health concern here in the USA, mainly Type 2 diabetes; the owner of the Utah Jazz Basketball team Larry H. Miller passed away recently from complications of Type 2 diabetes in which he openly admitted that he never took care of himself; or maybe the American Diabetes Association put out more flyers than last year. I personally think it is probably the first two options.

Our society seriously seems to revolve around food. I didn't really think about this until I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. We honestly live in a commercialized society that advertises food left and right! I know that pre/post diabetes I was more likely to attend events where there was food made readily available! Now it just depends on the kind of food as to whether or not I will attend! It just makes me sad to see so many overweight kids getting Type 2.

The second reason that is so interesting is about our local celebrity/icon of Larry H. Miller. He was the "poster child" for what can happen when you don't take care of yourself. This man had access to the best healthcare in the country, and he STILL didn't take care of himself the way he should have. He stated that he never ate the way he should. Taking care of oneself is something only we can decide for ourselves.

But a more positive thing about attending this event was that it was a great reminder of the awareness that is reaching people everywhere. More and more people are starting to understand what diabetes is in its many forms, and they want to do something about it, or help improve the lives of those already living with the disease. (Now I just wish that insurance companies would do more of the same!)

Computer Conundrum

It's been quite a while since I posted anything because our Dell Laptop's hard drive failed on us. We have yet to try and access the files on it through other means, so wish us luck!