Caffeine Free Folks!

Today marks 2 entire weeks since I have consumed any caffeine. I am a caffeine-free woman! (wishing right about now that I was a fat-free woman)

For years and years I have consumed caffeine in mass quantities since dating a guy in high school who's family drank Dr. Pepper like water. I will admit that I went for a couple of year in college without it. For some reason I started up again and when I found out I had Diabetes, I was more than happy to switch to Diet Dr. Pepper.

This "habit" as my mom likes to call it, really turned into one. I got to the point where I couldn't wait to have my early/mid-morning "hit" of caffeine. I would get up, shower, and the come upstairs to get a Diet Dr Pepper only to take it down stairs with me to drink while finishing my "getting ready for the day" routine.

When we got the boys, it got even worse! Lack of sleep didn't help either. It was the only thing that could get me through the day.... or so I thought.

I started doing things to make sure I got my caffeine for the day. I would wake up in the morning, get ready as fast as I could and throw the boys in the car to drive the 1 mile to the gas station and buy 2-4 Diet Dr Pepper's for the day or next 2 days. Then I realized that I was participating in "addict" behavior! I would get moody and anxious if I didn't get my caffeine.. then the headaches would hit.

When the boys left us, I decided it was time to make some changes. I went to Idaho with my husband for a few days, drank a TON of caffeine, and then during my trip to Denver I decided not to drink ANY caffeine. For those of you that know my family, most of us LOVE soda. So my parents had tons of it, either caffeinated or decaffeinated. I chose the diet decaffeinated stuff to help with this. That was 2 weeks ago! I must say the withdrawals were HECK. The headaches were the worst, on top of feeling extremely tired for the first few days. If those were the lousy withdrawals from only a bad caffeine habit, I can't even begin to imagine the crap people experience with stronger more controlling habits!

So here's to healthy!

Healthy and Conscious

I have been reading a book that I bought at the Salt Lake Airport in anticipation of my flight to Denver for an entire week. Nearly every book in my house has been read more than once (if it's Twilight, about 6 times.. but who's counting??!!) and I have had enough. I bought a book with a title that might offend some of my blog readers (all 3 of you) but it's called "Skinny B$*&%z". I picked it up out of curiosity and read the back. It sparked my interest when it stated that the authors were bluntly honest about how to eat better and get healthy in the process. Little did I realize that this book was MUCH more than that. If you can stomach some of the inappropriate language of these women, you are able to learn a lot of useful information. I have to say the information intrigued me and really made me think. For example, they talk about the meat packing industry and the government's lack of effort to stop animal cruelty/abuse. They talk about the unhealthy hormones that animals are injected with such as growth hormones, or hormones that make cow's make more milk at unnatural rates, and how this crap ends up in our bodies when we consume animal products.

I have NEVER considered myself a "tree-hugger" or whatever you consider "those" people. I just have to say that I respect anyone who lives what they believe whether I agree with it or not (within moral reason). Being environmentally aware of your surroundings and standing up for it is neither right or wrong for me. While reading this book, I may not be fully adopting the recommendations of these cheeky (British slang folks!) women, their musings have really made me think even more about the kinds of food I consume on a daily basis and how I feel after eating the things that I do. So it comes down to this: I am trying to make better choices about what I eat. I have high cholesterol, therefore I need to consume foods that aren't going to make my cholesterol take even more flight. To start, I am trying to eat more fruit and vegetables, consuming less dairy meaning buying soy yogurt, soy milk, and soy cheese. I am also trying to eat less meat and not eat so many processed foods that contain tons of sodium, cholesterol, and yes people, my other enemy.....CARBS!

And just because I am buying SOY products doesn't mean that I am a "tree-hugger". Let's just say that I am choosing to do so for my own health. Soy doesn't contain ANY cholesterol and is a pure protein without hormones or some crap in it.

I am taking interest in buying more naturally made products that are better for me in general. I am perusing the different natural health food stores for the best deals on naturally made products that aren't necessarily organic. Thank goodness I have a wonderful and supportive husband who was already raised in a home with similar views on food!

So here begins a new point in my life: eating not only better foods, but trying to be conscious of what I am putting into this body of mine.

Idaho Adventures

We are here in Idaho with Brandon's family and we are having a great time relaxing, laughing, boating and taking jeep rides into the mountains!

We left town Tuesday right after saying goodbye to the boys and came straight here to Brandon's hometown. It felt kind of weird being the 2 of us again, but it is turning out to be an easier adjustment than we thought. Truly this is a tender mercy from the Lord.

We have had some non stop fun since we got here. Wednesday we went to the golf course in Weiser, ID and Brandon, his dad, and brother golfed while I drove the golf cart around. It was so much fun.

Thursday (yesterday) we went to Hell's Canyon to water-ski and eat a picnic. It was a fun and relaxing afternoon/evening. The water was perfect (though Brandon's family says it's too warm) and I was able to go kneeboarding for the first time in a year or so. It was a lot of fun until I totally biffed it in the water. When I surfaced, I was dazed because it happened so fast and it hurt! Thought I would wake up this morning (Friday) with whiplash, but thankfully that wasn't the case.

Today we went in to the mountains in Don's (my FIL) jeep, and ended up hiking a little ways. We drove on some old mining roads that are 50 years old. We had a blast of course! We came to the near top of the mountain and got out of the jeep and climbed up the steep mountain side quite a ways and tossed or rolled some rocks down the mountain to see how far they would go. It was a great work out, but quite slippery in some places. It was the coming down part that really made us stay on alert. I took my sweet time coming down so that I wouldn't get hurt out in the middle of nowhere.

Tonight we are going back down to the lake, seeing as how everyone wants to get in as much water-skiing as possible!

I once again want to thank everyone for your love and support. Be assured that we have felt their influence. We love y'all and hope y'all are doing well! Have a great weekend!

Love You Forever

It's here, the last night that we have Hunter and Bubba in our home. Today Brandon and I had the opportunity to meet the boys' grandparents from out of state. They are wonderful people. The boys spent the day with them and came back for one more night with us. I sit here struggling to balance my emotions with my thoughts. On the one hand, I understand everything that has taken place and I KNOW that it is for a reason. I KNOW that these boys are going to be okay. I KNOW that the Lord is mindful of them, their grandparents, and us in this difficult time. And yet with all of this new-found knowledge, I am heartbroken. My heart is in a different place than my mind. I feel like there is this gaping hole in my chest that is surely going to take some time to heal. It is this feeling that leads me to the decision of not being a foster parent any longer. I was strong enough to be there for these boys, to care for them, love them, and cherish them when they needed it most. I am blessed more than words can convey to have known these two little ones. I know without a doubt that I will see them and know them in the life to come. It is this feeling that brings me peace. I wouldn't change having them in our home for the last 9.5 months.

I understand that it's okay to be heartbroken. I know that I am going to ache emotionally for a while, and it's going to take time for me to get over this. But I am grateful for the precious joys and cherished understanding that comes with being a "parent". I can now only look forward to the future that will someday allow me the opportunity to become a mom to my own children, whether it's in this life or the next.

Thank you to everyone that was mindful of our situation, for your considerate thoughts, reassurances, and thoughtful prayers for us these last several weeks/months. We have felt them and can not thank y'all enough.

Weber County Fair

This 2 year old sure loves Brandon. They are best buddies.
Bubba was extremely tired by the end of our afternoon in the warm sun!
We loved the adorable goat mommy and her babies!
Hunter got a kick out of the goats getting a bath. They were protesting the entire time.
Hunter loved the animals. He kept saying/signing piggies!
This was a sweet Kodak moment!
Bubba with his mouth full of chicken nuggets and french fries!
Hunter saying "CHEESE"!

"Hey Sexy" Part 2

Last Saturday, I woke up not feeling too hot, so my wonderful husband got up with the boys. To really let me rest so I could get up for the later part of the day while he went to work, he took them for a walk at a nearby path by the Weber River. Brandon came home and told me a funny story.

They were walking along the river when a really pretty lady went by with 2 big dogs. Usually Hunter will see a dog and point to it and say "puppy!", this time he associated the dogs with Lexi. So as this beautiful woman walks by Hunter proceeds to yell "Hi Sexy!".

Luckily...the lady had and iPod.

Big & Bananas

Lately we have been thrilled and exited over Hunter's improvements with speech. He is formulating 3-5 words sentences and is expressing himself more and more. He is one smart little guy.

The other day I scrambled eggs for the boys, served them to them and they started to eat. I walked over and started making myself my daily strawberry and banana smoothie when Hunter chimes in and says "Mama's 'nanas!" I had to laugh at this since he has been kind of sensitive lately and we have all been sick, so I have been going "bananas". He was spot on when it comes to bananas.

A few minutes after this, Hunter was signing to himself, and quite pleased with himself and wanted to show me a newer sign Brandon taught him. So without fail, he gets my attention by saying "Mama BIG!" Once again, I laughed again at this taking it out of context and agreed with him and said "Yes Hunter, Mama's BIG!" (Mumbling to myself right after that I was going to again get more committed to getting my BIG butt out to run!)