The other day I went to put on some pants that I haven't worn in quite a while since I wear professional clothes everyday, and GUESS WHAT??? They DID NOT FIT! I have gained enough weight in the last couple of months that one of my cutest pairs of pants don't fit anymore! How sad and depressing is that? So for those of you that can relate, you know what feelings (and expletives) ran through my mind!
After trying as I might to get those pants on (and failing miserably), I looked up into my closet and realized that there are two piles of pants that are too small for me. I have kept them around in the hopes that I would be able to fit into them again one day. It was then that I had an epiphany... hoping is not enough! "Doing" is what will get me wearing those pants again. So starting last Sunday, I started eating much better than I have been. I mean, the holidays were NOT kind to me at all. Something else that bothers me is that in looking at the facebook pictures of some of people I went to high school with, they all look fabulous! Many people have lost weight that they carried around in school, and now they are healthy, fit, and beautiful people! (except for the big partying people) Then I have looked at my old wedding pictures and my "skinny" pictures and started that whole "wishing" thing again. And then on Saturday night, there was a date night for couples in the Deaf branch with dinner and dessert (dang them). I was talking to a friend of mine, and she has had 6 kids, and she is now middle-aged. I told her that I had to buy the next size up in pants, and she said "but you are young and haven't even had any kids!" That was another blow to the unrealistic, head in the clouds, lazy frame of mind that I have had in just thinking that the pounds will just fall off, or go somewhere and not come back.
My family, (heaven bless them) is so kind when it comes to the topic of weight. My sister Katie and I lovingly and laughingly joke that we are the bohemian bertha sisters with our big derriers, stating that "Baby Got Back" is our theme song. My other sister Jenny who just had twins a month and a 1/2 ago and is already back in her size 6 jeans is just sweet and says "well I don't have diabetes, or thyroid disease like you do". That is also what my mom says too. My dad is the smart one in the family of women and says absolutely nothing about the issue. Then my mother in law who is unhappy about how she looks too says I should just hang out with fatter people than I am in order to feel better about myself! (I've tried that, it doesn't work either). And I was just totally kidding about that last part. But in all seriousness, the lady I used to go to church with was right... I haven't had any kids, and I am young. I really don't have any excuses to look the way that I do. So here I am, posting all this on the internet, and I have a belated New Years Resolution:
I am going to eat better; exercise when possible; think positively; and forgive myself when I make a mistake. So there, I've said it. This is something that I want so that I can control my BS (blood sugar) better, and be less likely to suffer from complications of diabetes when I'm older. So send some positive thoughts my way from time to time. I need all the help I can get!
M
1 comment:
I really liked your last paragraph about thinking positive and forgive oneself whenever one makes a mistake. I do too need to forgive myself as well.
You are still gorgeous even with the surprise blonde makeover! :) I know you will get back to the pant size you want. :) Only 20 mins of exercise per day will make a BIG or.. should I say.. small ;) results.
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