When Brandon and I decided to get involved with the foster care system, we knew it meant there would be the potential for both heartbreak and joy. So far, we have experienced both. We have been blessed with the privilege of seeing these boys thrive and move through milestones. I love hearing Hunter tell his baby brother he loves him. I get that great thrill when I hear the baby laugh. I love seeing their eyes light up when I walk into their room every morning. It is fun to have little shadows following me around the house during the day. I have seen the baby reach the point of pulling himself up on to everything that will let him do so. I love seeing Hunter sign with his little hands. I could go on about the joys that I have seen and experienced with these little guys.
For a time, I have had some selfishness seep into my mind. There have been time where I have thought about how much we would love to keep these little guys forever. But that isn't the reason we got in to foster care.
But I have finally started to again think about the reason that we got involved with foster care in the first place. We wanted to be able to give kids a safe haven from the terrible circumstances they were removed from. We wanted to give them the love and support that they would need when coming into our home even though they didn't know us and we didn't know them. We knew that we would be open to adopting if the opportunity would arise.
I have come to a place in my own mind and heart that things will work out the way the Lord wants them too. I am at peace with the fact that though every day we get a little more attached, there is a very real possibility that they may go back to their parents. People ask me all the time if we are going to adopt these boys or not. I basically tell them that it's still too early to tell. I also add that if they go back, then I am okay with that. I know that when children come into our home there really aren't any guarantees. People often just look at me and say that they couldn't do what Brandon and I are doing. They couldn't help raise little ones only to see them sent back to their families. I have learned that I am stronger than I give myself credit for, and that I know it will be hard but the Lord lead us to this, and He will bring us through it.
Whatever happens, I will accept it, and be at peace with it, because I know and understand the Lord's tender mercies.
3 comments:
My aunt was a foster mom for many many years on top of raising her own 5 kids. I think my heart would break sending the children back to "rocky" homes. It takes a very special couple to help these children and let them go...
You are an amazing woman with great insight. Those boys are lucky to have you in their lives right now.
Wow, if I was pregnant, I would be crying. You are amazing. Any child that gets to call you Mom for a short while; is blessed!
I love ya!
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