Lovin' the Huggin'

It has been about 3 months or so since the boys left us to go live with their grandparents in Ohio. I have not really wanted to talk about it since it was really hard to see them go, though we know they are in a place where they are loved and safe.

I am not going to lie, those first several weeks were some of the HARDEST of my life. It has made both Brandon and I seriously question the thought of ever doing Foster Care again. It entailed much more heartache than we ever thought possible, more than ANY training class could ever prepare us for. We were incredibly blessed to have amazingly well-behaved boys. I have never seen a more obedient 2 year old than Hunter was. "Bubba" was one of the most beautiful little boys I have ever seen and one of the most happy. I can only hope that someday my own kids will be the tremendous joy that these two boys were, and most likely still are for their family they are with now.

One thing I knew for sure as soon as we found out they were to leave us, was that I wanted to get right back to work. I didn't want ANY time to myself sitting at home stewing in my heartache.

I was nervous about getting back in to interpreting. The only real interaction I had had with the Deaf community was mostly my husband, and a few Sundays spent visiting the Ogden Valley Deaf Branch. I felt rusty. I hadn't had my mind process information like it does for interpreting for nearly 10 months. I was terrified at the prospect of losing my skills/talent. I was afraid that my heart wouldn't truly be in it as it had before because I had experienced what it felt like to be a "stay-at-home" foster mom.

My last post included the words "tender mercies" in it. A profound tender mercy in my life is/has been has been the swift ease I have experienced in going back to work. My first week back to work was a little interesting as I worked out the kinks in my mind and coordination of signing and processing information. I prayed my heart out to my God in heaven that I would pick up pretty close to where I left off 10 months before. Those prayers were answered greatly. I got back in to the swing of things with relative ease. One of the coolest things was that clients were actually excited to see me come back. They would tell me they missed me. They welcomed me back. They hugged me. They caught me up on their lives since the last time I had seen them.

While I was thrilled in many ways to get back to work, it was difficult not to think about the boys. The simple human act of someone hugging me became a resonating influence on my broken heart. The Lord knew I needed this type of interaction during such a difficult period in my life. I am still dealing with things that come up that remind me of the boys, and a few tears are still shed here and there but the pieces of my heart are being put together again. For this I am so grateful.

Don't ever hesitate to give someone a hug. You NEVER know how it will affect them.